The Hidden Costs of Motherhood: Mental Health, Single Parenting, and Finding Support
- Your Story Counselling
- 21 minutes ago
- 6 min read
Abstract
Parenthood is often celebrated as a joyful and fulfilling role, but the hidden struggles are rarely spoken about. Whether you are a single parent or feel like one in your co-parenting arrangement, the emotional and mental toll can be immense. This article explores the unseen costs of parenthood, the impact on mental health, and ways therapy can help—even when your co-parent or spouse is not willing to join.
The Unspoken Struggles of Parenthood
Parenting brings love, laughter, and unforgettable moments—but it also comes with challenges that can feel overwhelming. Many parents silently carry the emotional labour of running a household, tending to children’s needs, and managing their own work or personal responsibilities.
For single parents, the weight is doubled: balancing finances, parenting, and emotional support without consistent backup. But even in co-parenting arrangements, many parents feel as though they are raising children alone, often describing themselves as the “default parent.”
This invisible load can lead to:
Chronic stress and burnout
Feelings of resentment or loneliness
Increased anxiety and depression
Loss of self-identity
The Hidden Costs of Parenthood on Mental Health
Parenthood doesn’t only affect your daily routine—it deeply impacts mental health and wellbeing. Parents often experience:
Sleep deprivation and exhaustion: which makes coping with stress even harder.
Unacknowledged emotional labour: keeping track of school forms, medical appointments, and meal planning—tasks that rarely get noticed.
Financial strain: especially for single parents or those stepping back from careers to care for children.
Relationship strain: when parenting roles feel unbalanced, resentment and conflict can grow.
The “hidden costs” aren’t always financial. They’re often paid with your time, energy, emotional stability, and mental clarity.
Remedies and Small Steps to Reclaim Yourself
While the challenges of parenthood are real, there are ways to protect your mental wellbeing and find balance.
Ask for support: Reach out to friends, family, or community groups. Even small breaks matter.
Set boundaries: It’s okay to say no to extra commitments if they compromise your health.
Prioritize self-care: This doesn’t always mean bubble baths—it can be as simple as taking a walk alone, journaling, or listening to music.
Find moments of joy: Small rituals like reading with your child, enjoying a morning coffee, or connecting with a trusted friend can restore energy.
Seek professional help: Talking with a therapist can help lighten the invisible load and give you tools to cope.
How Therapy Can Help—Even If Your Co-Parent Won’t Join
Many parents hesitate to start therapy because their co-parent refuses to join. But therapy can still make a powerful difference for you:
Individual therapy: gives you tools to manage stress, set boundaries, and explore your emotions without judgment.
Learning communication skills: even if your co-parent isn’t in the room, you can learn strategies that shift how conversations and conflicts unfold.
Rebuilding self-identity: therapy helps parents reconnect with who they are outside of their parenting role.
Finding validation: a therapist can provide the acknowledgment and support that may be missing at home.
At Your Story Counselling, we specialize in supporting parents navigating these hidden struggles. Many of our clinicians are parents themselves and understand these challenges firsthand.
Therapists Who Specialize in Parenting Support
Markham Office:
Vaughan Office:
Online:
Student & Low-Cost Option:
💬 You can also book a free 15-minute consultation to find the right match for your parenting support needs: Book Here.
Final Thoughts
Parenthood is beautiful, but it can also be lonely, overwhelming, and exhausting. The hidden costs on your mental health are real—and you don’t have to carry them alone. Therapy can provide a safe space to heal, grow, and rediscover yourself—whether or not your co-parent joins you.
Your Story Counselling Services is a multicultural, inclusive, BIPOC clinic that offers online services as well as in-person sessions in Vaughan and Markham.
Judy Lui and her team of clinicians and supervised therapist interns offer trauma-informed, clinical counselling in the form of art, play, and talk therapy. With an emphasis on social equity and justice,
Your Story offers counselling at a range of fee levels. Judy continues to see her clients, manages the clinic as Clinical Director, and mentors master ’s-level therapist interns.
Judy has been featured in the Toronto Star, where she discussed the impact of mental health struggles and the toll of COVID-19 on romantic relationships. She also co-authored a chapter in the first edition of An Intersectional Approach to Sex Therapy Centering the Lives of Indigenous, Racialized, and People of Color. She is a committee member with the Anti-Racism Advocacy Group at the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association, where she helps organize community events and panels on racial trauma and advocacy.
Judy is also one of three 2024 RBC Canadian Women Entrepreneur Awards Micro-Business Finalists and will represent the Central Canadian Region (Ontario & Montreal) for this honour.
Affordable Therapy York Region is committed to making quality mental health care more accessible across Markham, Vaughan, Concord, and the greater York Region. We offer both virtual and in-person sessions through a diverse team of supervised therapist interns and registered clinicians, with services starting as low as $20 per session.
Our clinic prioritizes culturally responsive, trauma-informed, and inclusive care, ensuring that therapy is respectful of your identity, background, and lived experience. Whether you're seeking support for anxiety, relationships, grief, or personal growth, we offer therapy that meets you where you are — emotionally and financially.
We also offer a free 15-minute consultation to help you find the right therapist fit before you commit.Learn more or get started today at www.affordabletherapyyorkregion.ca.
If you have additional questions regarding the contents of this article please feel free to contact us and we will be happy to answer you.
Should you have questions or inquiries regarding counselling and the process of counselling, please visit our FAQ page. contact us to ask questions, or learn more about our team of therapists before signing up for a free 15 minute consultation.
Terms and Conditions of Use:
The information provided in this article is intended to be general knowledge and does not constitute as professional advice or treatment. This information is not intended for the use of diagnosis or treatment. Please do not share or distribute this article without the proper referencing or written/verbal consent of Judy Lui. Additional information can be found at www.yourstorycounselling.com or requested via info@yourstorycounselling.com
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Explore the hidden mental health costs of parenthood and learn how therapy can help, even if your co-parent isn’t willing to join. Discover supportive, experienced therapists at Your Story Counselling in Markham, Vaughan, and online. Book a free 15-minute consultation today.