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Attachment Styles - How They Affect Your Relationships and How Therapy Can Help

Updated: Sep 26

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You may have heard the term attachment theory in today’s zeitgeist of social media relationship advice. Ever wondered what attachment styles really meant? Attachment theory is a theoretical framework first introduced to the world by Psychologist John Bowlby in the early 20th century. Since then it’s been continuously expanded upon and researched by the field of psychology, sociology, and anthropology.

Attachment theory suggests that the type of bond we form with our primary caregivers in childhood can impact our relationships with others throughout our lives. Understanding your attachment style and working on it in therapy can help you improve your relationships, enhance your well-being, and set you up for greater success in life. This article will highlight and give a brief overview of the main four types of attachment styles: secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant.

1. Secure Attachment Style

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Individuals with a secure attachment style feel comfortable with emotional intimacy and are able to trust and rely on others. They feel secure in their relationships and believe that others will be there for them when needed. This attachment style is associated with positive outcomes in relationships, as individuals with secure attachment are better able to communicate their needs and emotions and have greater relationship satisfaction and longevity.

2. Anxious Preoccupied Attachment Style

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Individuals with an anxious-preoccupied attachment style are often preoccupied with their relationships, worrying about whether they are loved and valued. They may be overly dependent on their partners for validation and attention and may struggle with jealousy and insecurity. This attachment style is associated with higher levels of relationship conflict and lower levels of satisfaction.

3. Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment Style

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Individuals with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style tend to suppress their emotions and avoid closeness in relationships. They may come across as aloof or unemotional and may prefer to focus on independence and self-reliance. This attachment style is associated with lower levels of relationship satisfaction and difficulty in forming close, meaningful connections with others.

4. Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style

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Individuals with a fearful-avoidant attachment style may feel both a desire for closeness and a fear of rejection or abandonment. They may be hesitant to form close relationships and may struggle with trust and vulnerability. This attachment style is associated with lower levels of relationship satisfaction and difficulty in forming close, meaningful connections with others.

Want to learn more about what type of attachment style you are? Book a free 15-minute no obligation consultation with one of our therapists today and see if therapy could be a helpful tool for your well-being!

Deepening your Understanding of Attachment style through Therapy

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Regardless of your attachment style, therapy can be a powerful tool in improving your relationships and enhancing your well-being. In fact, most clinicians believe that attachment styles continue to develop and change over the course of the multitude of relationships we experience throughout our lives. A trained therapist can help you identify your attachment style, and work with you to develop strategies for improving your relationships and managing any negative patterns or behaviors that may be impacting your life.

Therapy can help you learn how to communicate effectively, set healthy boundaries, and develop more positive and satisfying relationships. It can also help you develop greater self-awareness and self-acceptance, which can lead to increased confidence, resilience, and success in all areas of your life.

Understanding your attachment style and working on it in therapy can have a profound impact on your relationships, well-being, and success in life. By developing more positive and satisfying relationships with others, you can improve your overall quality of life and achieve greater personal and professional success. If you're interested in exploring attachment theory and how it applies to your life, consider reaching out to a qualified therapist for support and guidance.

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Judy is the founder and clinical director of Your Story Counselling Services

Judy is the founder and clinical director of Your Story Counselling Services, A private practice clinic in Vaughan Ontario servicing individuals, couples, and families across the Greater Toronto Area. As a Psychotherapist and Clinical Supervisor, Judy is passionate about creating change and making mental health services more safe and accessible to the public. Judy believes in working collaboratively with others so that they can get back to themselves and their preferred way of life and living.

To learn more about the Your Story Counselling Team and the services we offer click here.

If you have additional questions regarding the contents of this article please feel free to contact us and we will be happy to answer you.

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Terms and Conditions of Use:

The information provided in this article is intended to be general knowledge and does not constitute professional advice or treatment. This information is not intended for the use of diagnosis or treatment. Please do not share or distribute this article without the proper referencing or written/verbal consent of Judy Lui. Additional information can be found at or requested via



1. What are the four attachment styles in relationships, and how do they impact well-being?

The four attachment styles are secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. Secure attachment is associated with positive well-being, while insecure attachment styles can be associated with anxiety, depression, and difficulty in relationships.

2. How can therapy help in improving relationships for individuals with Anxious attachment style?

Therapy can help individuals with anxious attachment style to learn how to manage their anxiety, communicate their needs effectively, and develop trust in their partners. This can lead to more satisfying and stable relationships.

3. What are the signs of a Secure attachment style, and how can therapy assist in maintaining and enhancing it?

People with secure attachment styles feel comfortable being close to others, are able to express their emotions openly, and feel confident that their partners will be there for them. Therapy can help individuals with secure attachment styles to maintain and enhance their healthy relationships by providing support and guidance.

4. Can therapy help individuals with Avoidant attachment style develop more secure and fulfilling relationships?

Yes, therapy can help individuals with avoidant attachment style develop more secure and fulfilling relationships. Therapy can help these individuals to learn how to trust others, express their emotions, and be more open to intimacy.

5. How does therapy address Disorganized attachment style and its impact on well-being and relationships?

Disorganized attachment style is associated with difficulty in regulating emotions, difficulty trusting others, and difficulty forming stable relationships. Therapy can help individuals with disorganized attachment style to develop more secure attachment patterns by providing a safe and supportive environment to explore their past experiences and learn new ways of relating to others.

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