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Improving Relationships and Enhancing Well-Being:The Four Attachment Styles and How Therapy Can Help

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You may have heard the term attachment theory in today’s zeitgeist of social media relationship advice. Ever wondered what attachment styles really meant? Attachment theory is a theoretical framework first introduced to the world by Psychologist John Bowlby in the early 20th century. Since then it’s been continuously expanded upon and researched by the field of psychology, sociology, and anthropology.

Attachment theory suggests that the type of bond we form with our primary caregivers in childhood can impact our relationships with others throughout our lives. Understanding your attachment style and working on it in therapy can help you improve your relationships, enhance your well-being, and set you up for greater success in life. This article will highlight and give a brief overview of the main four types of attachment styles: secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant.

Secure Attachment

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Individuals with a secure attachment style feel comfortable with emotional intimacy and are able to trust and rely on others. They feel secure in their relationships and believe that others will be there for them when needed. This attachment style is associated with positive outcomes in relationships, as individuals with secure attachment are better able to communicate their needs and emotions and have greater relationship satisfaction and longevity.

Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment

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Individuals with an anxious-preoccupied attachment style are often preoccupied with their relationships, worrying about whether they are loved and valued. They may be overly dependent on their partners for validation and attention and may struggle with jealousy and insecurity. This attachment style is associated with higher levels of relationship conflict and lower levels of satisfaction.

Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment

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Individuals with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style tend to suppress their emotions and avoid closeness in relationships. They may come across as aloof or unemotional and may prefer to focus on independence and self-reliance. This attachment style is associated with lower levels of relationship satisfaction and difficulty in forming close, meaningful connections with others.

Fearful-Avoidant Attachment

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Individuals with a fearful-avoidant attachment style may feel both a desire for closeness and a fear of rejection or abandonment. They may be hesitant to form close relationships and may struggle with trust and vulnerability. This attachment style is associated with lower levels of relationship satisfaction and difficulty in forming close, meaningful connections with others.

Want to learn more about what type of attachment style you are? Book a free 15-minute no obligation consultation with one of our therapists today and see if therapy could be a helpful tool for your well-being!

Deepening your understanding of attachment style

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Regardless of your attachment style, therapy can be a powerful tool in improving your relationships and enhancing your well-being. In fact, most clinicians believe that attachment styles continue to develop and change over the course of the multitude of relationships we experience throughout our lives. A trained therapist can help you identify your attachment style, and work with you to develop strategies for improving your relationships and managing any negative patterns or behaviors that may be impacting your life.

Therapy can help you learn how to communicate effectively, set healthy boundaries, and develop more positive and satisfying relationships. It can also help you develop greater self-awareness and self-acceptance, which can lead to increased confidence, resilience, and success in all areas of your life.

Understanding your attachment style and working on it in therapy can have a profound impact on your relationships, well-being, and success in life. By developing more positive and satisfying relationships with others, you can improve your overall quality of life and achieve greater personal and professional success. If you're interested in exploring attachment theory and how it applies to your life, consider reaching out to a qualified therapist for support and guidance.


Judy is the founder and clinical director of Your Story Counselling Services, A private practice clinic in Vaughan Ontario servicing individuals, couples, and families across the Greater Toronto Area. As a Psychotherapist and Clinical Supervisor, Judy is passionate about creating change and making mental health services more safe and accessible to the public. Judy believes in working collaboratively with others so that they can get back to themselves and their preferred way of life and living.

To learn more about the Your Story Counselling Team and the services we offer click here.

If you have additional questions regarding the contents of this article please feel free to contact us and we will be happy to answer you.

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The information provided in this article is intended to be general knowledge and does not constitute professional advice or treatment. This information is not intended for the use of diagnosis or treatment. Please do not share or distribute this article without the proper referencing or written/verbal consent of Judy Lui. Additional information can be found at or requested via

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