How to Know If It’s Time for Couples Therapy (Even If Things Don’t Feel ‘That Bad’)
- Your Story Counselling
- 12 minutes ago
- 5 min read
Relationships don’t need to be on the brink of disaster for couples therapy to be helpful. Often, it’s the subtle shifts in communication, connection, and emotional intimacy that signal it’s time to pause and reflect. Recognizing these early signs can prevent resentment, build stronger bonds, and help partners navigate challenges before they escalate.
Signs It Might Be Time for Couples Therapy
Even if your relationship “feels fine,” consider exploring therapy if you notice:
Communication breakdowns – frequent misunderstandings, stonewalling, or avoiding tough conversations. Learn more about communication red flags with John Gottman.
Feeling emotionally disconnected – if you or your partner feel unseen, unheard, or unsupported.
Recurring arguments – patterns of conflict that seem to repeat without resolution.
Doubt about staying – questioning if the relationship is right, or wondering “should I stay for the kids?”
Loss of intimacy or shared goals – feeling like you’re drifting apart in your priorities or physical closeness.
As relationship expert Esther Perel writes in Mating in Captivity, “The quality of our love is determined by our ability to balance the needs for security and freedom, closeness and distance.” Therapy can help couples navigate these tensions before they erode connection.
Why Early Couples Therapy Works
Seeking therapy proactively can:
Improve communication skills – learn strategies to discuss difficult topics safely.
Strengthen emotional intimacy – rebuild trust, connection, and empathy.
Prevent long-term resentment – address issues while they are manageable.
Clarify your relationship goals – explore whether staying together aligns with your values and future.
Couples therapy isn’t about waiting until things are “bad enough.” It’s about creating tools and awareness to build a thriving partnership.
Recommended Books and Resources
For deeper exploration, these resources can provide insight and strategies:
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman – strategies to strengthen relationships based on decades of research.
Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel – explores desire, intimacy, and balancing connection with individuality.
Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson – introduces Emotionally Focused Therapy principles to help couples navigate attachment and emotional bonding.
How Therapy Can Help
A trained couples therapist can:
Facilitate safe conversations between partners.
Teach communication and conflict resolution skills.
Help partners explore underlying emotions, past experiences, and expectations.
Guide couples in determining what’s best for the relationship while respecting individual needs.
Even if your partner isn’t ready to attend, therapy can still provide clarity and support for yourself, helping you navigate your feelings and decisions.
Why Choose Your Story Counselling
At Your Story Counselling, we specialize in couples therapy with a focus on cultural sensitivity, social equity, and trauma-informed care. Our clinicians are trained in approaches inspired by Gottman, Perel, and Emotionally Focused Therapy to help couples build stronger, healthier relationships. We offer online therapy across Ontario and in-person sessions in Vaughan and Markham.
🌿 Continue Your Healing Journey
If this article resonated with you, you don’t have to navigate these feelings alone. Explore ways to connect, learn, and take your next step toward support:
Your Story Counselling Services is a multicultural, inclusive, BIPOC clinic that offers online services as well as in-person sessions in Vaughan and Markham.
Judy Lui and her team of clinicians and supervised therapist interns offer trauma-informed, clinical counselling in the form of art, play, and talk therapy. With an emphasis on social equity and justice,
Your Story offers counselling at a range of fee levels. Judy continues to see her clients, manages the clinic as Clinical Director, and mentors master ’s-level therapist interns.
Judy has been featured in the Toronto Star, where she discussed the impact of mental health struggles and the toll of COVID-19 on romantic relationships. She also co-authored a chapter in the first edition of An Intersectional Approach to Sex Therapy Centering the Lives of Indigenous, Racialized, and People of Color. She is a committee member with the Anti-Racism Advocacy Group at the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association, where she helps organize community events and panels on racial trauma and advocacy.
Judy is also one of three 2024 RBC Canadian Women Entrepreneur Awards Micro-Business Finalists and will represent the Central Canadian Region (Ontario & Montreal) for this honour.
Affordable Therapy York Region is committed to making quality mental health care more accessible across Markham, Vaughan, Concord, and the greater York Region. We offer both virtual and in-person sessions through a diverse team of supervised therapist interns and registered clinicians, with services starting as low as $20 per session.
Our clinic prioritizes culturally responsive, trauma-informed, and inclusive care, ensuring that therapy is respectful of your identity, background, and lived experience. Whether you're seeking support for anxiety, relationships, grief, or personal growth, we offer therapy that meets you where you are — emotionally and financially.
We also offer a free 15-minute consultation to help you find the right therapist fit before you commit.Learn more or get started today at www.affordabletherapyyorkregion.ca.
If you have additional questions regarding the contents of this article please feel free to contact us and we will be happy to answer you.
Should you have questions or inquiries regarding counselling and the process of counselling, please visit our FAQ page. contact us to ask questions, or learn more about our team of therapists before signing up for a free 15 minute consultation.
Terms and Conditions of Use:
The information provided in this article is intended to be general knowledge and does not constitute as professional advice or treatment. This information is not intended for the use of diagnosis or treatment. Please do not share or distribute this article without the proper referencing or written/verbal consent of Judy Lui. Additional information can be found at www.yourstorycounselling.com or requested via info@yourstorycounselling.com
Meta Description
Unsure if it’s time for couples therapy? Learn the subtle signs your relationship may benefit from support, how therapy can help, and explore expert insights from John Gottman and Esther Perel. Book a free consultation with Your Story Counselling today.
Keywords
couples therapy, relationship checkup, should I stay in my marriage, how do I know if I should leave my partner, marriage therapy Ontario, Gottman therapy, Esther Perel, emotional intimacy, improving communication, online couples therapy Vaughan, therapy in Markham, relationship advice, free consultation couples therapy, family therapy Ontario, trauma-informed couples therapy, culturally sensitive therapy, relationship counseling for BIPOC families, low-cost therapy York Region
If you want, I can also add internal links to all your couples therapists on the team in Vaughan and Markham, so readers can click directly to book a session, which will help with both SEO and conversion.
Do you want me to add that next?
