What happens when you crave intimacy, but sex brings pressure, silence or shame?
You may care deeply about your partner and still avoid conversations about sex. A request for affection can become a question of whether you want them. Saying no brings guilt. Asking for something different can feel embarrassing, selfish, or hard to explain.
Perhaps you grew up with clear rules about sex and very little room for questions. You may be exploring which beliefs still matter to you, what feels comfortable in your body, and what you actually want when you take someone else’s expectations out of the picture.
At Your Story Counselling, our relationship experts offer sex and intimacy support that makes room for desire, relationships, culture, identity, and the conditions surrounding your life circumstances.
Together in psychotherapy, we can explore what feels difficult, find the safety to discuss the things that feel taboo or embarrassing, and help you build understanding around what gets in your way of building a satisfying and intimate relationship.
When sex and intimacy become too difficult to talk about
You may have tried initiating differently, scheduling time together or reassuring each other. Yet the same tension returns because there is more to discuss than when or how often sex happens.
What is sex therapy?
Sex therapy is psychotherapy focused on sexuality, intimacy and related emotional or relationship concerns.
You can attend individually or with a partner.
Sessions involve conversation, reflection and education. Sex therapy does not involve sexual contact with the therapist or performing sexual activities during appointments.
When needed, an appropriate healthcare professional will conduct a medical assessment.
Learn more about sex therapy from Cleveland Clinic.
Your therapist can discuss their experience with your concern, explain how they work and help
you decide whether their approach fits.
You do not need a partner, a diagnosis or a particular level of sexual experience to ask for support.
Your values, history and relationships belong in the conversation
Ideas about sexuality develop through families, faith communities, schools, media, healthcare and relationships.
You may have learned that being respectable meant being sexually inexperienced, that marriage created obligations around sex or that certain bodies and relationships were more acceptable than others. You might also have inherited values around tenderness, commitment, privacy or care that remain important to you.
Therapy can create space to examine those messages without treating your culture or religion as the only explanation for your concerns.
You decide which values you want to live by. That can include faith, modesty, abstinence, sexual exploration, commitment or a different relationship with intimacy than others expect.
The work also considers how racism, gender expectations, homophobia, transphobia and ableism shape whose desires are respected, whose bodies are scrutinized and who feels able to speak openly.
For someone who has experienced fetishization, exclusion or having their identity questioned, feeling recognized as a whole person may be central to intimacy.
Consent and choice guide the work
You define your goals. They may involve less shame, clearer communication, greater comfort with affection, understanding desire or deciding whether a relationship’s agreements work for you.
There is no required amount of sex, preferred relationship structure or expectation that you become more sexually adventurous.
Differences in desire deserve care for everyone involved. Feeling rejected can be painful, and nobody owes sexual access as a way to resolve that pain.
Asexuality, low interest in sex, celibacy and choosing particular boundaries do not inherently need changing.
You can seek support for distress, pressure or relationship questions while having those experiences respected.
Your therapist should discuss any suggested exercises with you, explain their purpose and leave room to decline or adapt them.
Intimacy within the life you are actually living
Desire does not happen separately from the rest of your life. Exhaustion, unequal caregiving and feeling unheard can affect how much room there is for closeness. Social and cultural expectations may also shape what you feel allowed to want, ask for or decline.
Conversations about intimacy may involve past trauma, painful experiences in your body, or anxiety about how your body is “supposed” to respond. You might find yourself monitoring your performance, anticipating discomfort or focusing so closely on your partner’s experience that your own becomes difficult to notice.
Together, we can explore what contributes to pressure and what might make intimacy more comfortable and satisfying. Depending on your goals, this could involve communicating preferences, making practical changes to shared responsibilities, or exploring pathways toward greater pleasure and connection. You decide what satisfaction means for you.
Physical health matters too. Pain, medication effects and other health concerns may warrant medical assessment alongside psychotherapy. Where appropriate, your therapist can discuss additional support from a primary care clinician, sexual health service or pelvic health physiotherapist. Coordination with another provider would require your consent.
Our conversations about desire may also include:
Exhaustion
Trauma & Painful Body Experiences
Feeling unheard elsewhere in the relationship
Unequal caregiving
Performance Anxiety
Increasing Pleasure & Satisfaction
You can ask what falls within your therapist’s scope and when additional expertise might be useful.
Meet clinicians offering sex and intimacy support
Each clinician has their own unique specialty. We offer free consultations to help you find the right match.
You can ask about a clinician’s experience with your concern, how they work, and whether additional expertise might be useful.
Diane Hua-Stewart
MSc, MACP, Registered Psychotherapist
Sex therapy with attention to relationships, cultural context and life transitions.
Diane offers individual, couples, family and sex therapy. Her profile describes a client-centred approach, experience in healthcare research and personal perspectives shaped by immigrant-family life, intercultural relationships and parenting. She draws on approaches including narrative and emotionally focused therapy. During a consultation, you can ask about her experience with your particular concern and how she would work with you.
Online Only
Ontario
Robynson Paulwell
MSW, RSW, Registered Social Worker, Psychotherapist
Support with expressing needs, setting boundaries and building intimacy.
Robyn offers individual, couples and sex therapy, with a culturally sensitive approach that centers your needs and choices. Her work includes supporting people through traumatic experiences and helping them recognize and communicate their boundaries. Drawing on attachment, emotion-focused and trauma-informed approaches, she helps clients explore fears, strengthen communication and build confidence in their relationships. She may be a good fit if you struggle to express what you need or want support having more open conversations about closeness.
Vaughan
Ontario
Alana Sham
MACP, Registered Psychotherapist
Sex and intimacy support with attention to emotional connection, communication and life transitions.
Alana offers individual, couples and sex therapy through an attachment-based, trauma-informed lens. She helps clients understand familiar relationship patterns, express their feelings and develop greater understanding of themselves and their partners. Her gentle, reflective approach makes room for the wider pressures affecting connection, including parenting, family relationships and life transitions. Drawing on narrative and emotion-focused approaches, she supports you in exploring what feels difficult, recognizing each other’s perspectives and finding ways to communicate what matters to you.
Vaughan & Markham
Ontario
Zahra Eizadi
D.CP., M.A., Registered Psychotherapist
Support for intimacy concerns, relationship conflict and connection across cultural backgrounds.
When trust has been hurt or intimacy feels difficult, finding the words to talk about it can be a challenge. Zahra works with individuals and couples navigating concerns about sex, infidelity and recurring conflict, helping them understand what is happening and what they need moving forward. Her work brings together sex therapy training and an understanding of attachment and emotional connection. With experience supporting people from different cultural backgrounds, she welcomes conversations about how upbringing, beliefs and expectations influence relationships. Sessions are available in English and Farsi.
Online only
Ontario
Fees and appointment options
Fees depend on the clinician and whether you attend individually or with a partner.
The practice’s published associate rates are:
Therapy Category | Fees |
|---|---|
Individual therapy | $160–$170 |
Couples and relationship therapy | $180-$190 |
Appointments are generally 50–60 minutes, and all amounts are in CAD.
Confirm the exact fee and appointment type with your selected clinician.
Reduced-fee options vary by provider and suitability for your concern. If using benefits, check coverage for the clinician’s professional designation and service.
In-person and online sex and intimacy therapy for Markham, Vaughan, and York Region.
Markham office
Alana offers in-person sex and intimacy therapy in Markham. Check her profile for current appointment options. For directions or accessibility questions, contact our team.
Check individual profiles for current appointment options. For directions or accessibility questions, contact our team.
7030 Woodbine Avenue, Suite 500
Markham, ON L3R 6G2
Vaughan office
Robyn and Alana offer in-person sex and intimacy therapy in Vaughan. Check their profiles for current appointment options. Our team can help you choose a clinician who fits your needs.
Check individual profiles for current appointment options. For directions or accessibility questions, contact our team.
20 Floral Parkway, Unit A3
Vaughan, ON L4K 4R1
Online Ontario care
Diane, Robyn, Alana and Zahra offer online appointments for clients in Ontario.
If you and your partner will join from different locations, let your therapist know in advance so you can discuss arrangements.
1-888-310-3652
Questions about sex and intimacy therapy
Make space to understand what intimacy means for you.
You may want affection without pressure, a conversation about desire that doesn't end in shame, or a clearer sense of your own preferences and boundaries.
A consultation gives you a chance to ask questions and explore whether a clinician’s approach fits your needs.