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We spend most of our lives performing. At work, we’re the "competent professional." At home, we’re the "stable partner" or the "dutiful child." We’re constantly editing our thoughts, filtering our feelings, and checking our masks in the mirror to make sure we’re playing the part correctly. It’s exhausting.

Others worry that if they start setting boundaries, they will: Push people away Hurt their partner or family Be seen as selfish, cold, or uncaring This confusion is common. One of the most frequent patterns we see in therapy is the mix-up between healthy boundaries and emotional walls.